We Hate British People Club
by gravitysabully
Summary: [One-shot.] Alfred had his dreams crushed by snooty Arthur Kirkland. With a little help from his friend Francis, Alfred manages to create something to get back at Arthur. [elementary school AU]


**This little fic was based off a picture my friend told me about by an artist named toothpasteface, I believe. Enjoy.**

* * *

Alfred F. Jones was a stringy little boy in the third grade who wanted nothing more than to be a superhero.

But, according to Arthur, he couldn't.

"You need actual superpowers to be a superhero, numbskull," Arthur said.

"No, I don't!" Alfred retorted, clenching his fists at his side. "Batman doesn't have super powers!"

"Yes, but he has brains. You, on the other hand, lack that. Face it, you're not going to be a superhero, Alfred," Arthur said in a clipped voice. The British kid walked off to play in the sandbox with Kiku, one of his friends.

Alfred fought back tears as he ran to the monkey bars. Francis Bonnefoy, a fellow first grader, had seen Alfred's teary eyes and headed over to him.

"What's wrong?" Francis asked.

"Arthur said I couldn't be a superhero," Alfred sniffed. He wiped his eyes with the corner of his sleeve.

"That is wrong, mon ami! You are a hero, no?" Francis exclaimed.

"Yeah, but Artie doesn't think so."

"Who cares what eyebrows thinks? We hate him because he is stuffy. And stuck up." Francis grinned evilly at Alfred.

"We should do something about this! We have to help everyone that Arthur was mean to!" Alfred cried. He raised his fist into the air. "We have to be heroes!"

And so the planning had begun and a club had formed.

* * *

The next day, Alfred had brought a rather large box to class. It was rather large in size and its sides were blank. As Alfred passed Francis on his way to his classroom he flashed him a grin. Arthur was blissfully unaware of the momentous occasion coming up.

"You have the marker?" Alfred whispered to Francis during class.

"Of course. I wouldn't forget it, mon ami." Francis pulled the marker from his pocket and waved it a bit. Alfred smiled devilishly. Their plan was perfect.

Arthur looked at the pair from his desk a few seats away. His massive eyebrows furrowed in confusion as to what the two were doing. Probably some foolish thing that usually requires one person, he thought, or they are in cahoots. Arthur wasn't stupid. He saw the large cardboard box Alfred had brought in that he convinced the teacher was a prop for a play he and Francis are preforming at recess. He saw they way Francis comforted Alfred after Arthur himself brought the self-proclaimed hero down to reality. But, of course, they were both stupid and reckless. They couldn't actually pull anything off, right? Right.

Arthur was brought out of his thoughts by a giggle. Arthur glanced over at Francis, who was failing to stop snickering. Arthur glared at the French boy, which only made him laugh harder. He rolled his eyes.

Idiots.

* * *

Alfred dragged the cardboard box out to the playground during recess. Francis pulled out the marker from his pant's pocket. He handed it to Alfred who then began to write on the box.

Arthur watched them from a bush fairly close to the playground. _What are they writing?_ he thought. When Alfred stepped away, Arthur's jaw dropped open. He rose from his hiding place and stomped over to his classmates.

"_We hate British people club?!_ What the heck?" Arthur shrieked. "You two are such bullies!"

"Yeah, well, saying I'm a villain makes you a bully!" Alfred shot back.

"I never said anything of the sort! I just said you couldn't be a hero!" Arthur stomped his foot like an angry child. Which he was.

"He was quite sad after you said that," Francis said.

"Totally." Alfred crossed his arms.

"You could get in some much trouble for this! I'm telling on you!" Arthur yelled.

"Yeah, well, British people are stupid! This club needed to be made! You called French fries 'chips' and cookies 'biscuits'! Who even does that?" Alfred yelled.

"Me and the rest of Britain!" Arthur cried before running back to the classroom.

Francis turned to Alfred. "This has to be the best idea we've ever had, mon ami."

* * *

**That was really short and bad. Real sorry about that. Drop a review if you have anything to say! My next fic will probably be based off of the short story "The Lady or The Tiger?". That'll be fun to write! Anyway, read and review! **

**Until Next Time,**

**Gravity**


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